is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
