im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
