My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize