so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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