Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

(1-925): View more from California

Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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(846): View more from

He asked to "fluff my boner.."

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(806): View more from Texas

My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.

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(312): View more from Illinois

so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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(601): View more from Mississippi

we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.

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(954): View more from Florida

All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory

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