What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.