Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?