So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's