we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?