As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Holy sore nipples Batman
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.