I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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