ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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