Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
