My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
