He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
