i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
