So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to make a zoo with you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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