Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
