Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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