He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
