ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You did what with his pubic hair?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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