Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
