Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
