Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
