Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
