Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
