Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I enjoy the company of your penis
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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