my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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