3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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