Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
