I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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