took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My penis needs a shock collar
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
