Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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