he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
