Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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