What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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