More tranny stories later!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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