your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
