Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need a beard to bite.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize