i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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