RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
