I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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