Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
