I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
