I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...