K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.