Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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