margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't like sucking hair
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
