She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
