We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
