In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize