We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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it was like having sex with a tree stump
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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