Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have post one night stand depression
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
