Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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