HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
