Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
