"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
