No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
