McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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