so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize