i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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